ECGs for the Incredibly Slow!!

... That's the title of the book my publishing empire is going to kick off with.

They'll all be titled "[INSERT NAME OF SUBJECT] for the Incredibly Slow!!" Of course there are exclamation marks. Us slow people need all the help we can get. It'll be written by a slow person - for slow people. I predict millions.

Like the CXRs, ECG reading, for the majority of it, is reading what's in front of you out loud and getting complimented on it. Yeah, at the end you're expected to deliver a diagnosis, but that's only the most minute-simultaneously-important part of it. And to look your slickest you need a system. Like counting cards, only with less fun or money.

How To Report An ECG
 "Please Miss-Amazing-Medical-Student-Person, can you report this ECG for me?"
"Of course I can, can I just let my insides shrivel up and die first, due to the inevitable humiliation about to occur?"
"Sorry?"
"Oh, nothing, sorry I meant..."

A) Rate - what speed (R-R interval)? tachy/brady?
B) Rhythm - where from - sinus/ventricular? regular/irregular?
C) Cardiac Axis - left/right axisdeviation?

D) P Wave - is it normal/peaked & tall/notched and broad?
E) PR Interval - is it regular/prolonged? (N=3-5 small sq)
F) Q Waves - are there any abnormal Q Waves present?
G) QRS Complex
    1) Height - are there particularly tall R waves in V1 or V6?
    2) Width - are they abnormally wide? (N=3 small sq)
    3) Transition Point - is the where R=S around V3 or V4?
H) QT Interval - abnormally short or long? (N=2 large sq)
I) ST Segment - raised/depressed in any of the leads?
J) T Waves - are they inverted/peaked/flat?
K) U Waves - are there any at all?

Basically - just travel along the ECG line, and you'll be fine.